Three Birthdays Without Rowena

 

Coming up this weekend marks Rosie's 19th Birthday. I have been without her for 3 birthdays so far and it doesn't seem to get much easier. Rowena passed from this world on May 3, 2021 in Bangor, Maine. She was born on September 3, 2004 in Orland, Maine. Rosie was raised in the city of Bangor, riding the city bus, going to malls, Dr.'s offices, learning to stay on the correct side of a sidewalk... she lived in an apartment that by standards would be too small. She was raised as a working city dog, with lots of side trips to the woods and country. Her litter, I learned much later after I'd  had her a while, was apparently an overnight litter. Some of her siblings were born on September 2, and others were born on September 3 like her. We were able to meet one of Rowena's sisters during her lifetime. Another, we would find a human who belonged to her other sister right here in Camden where we now live. We met her two brothers when we went to see her at the breeders. I will never know if that is the whole litter or not.

This weekend, September 3 falls on a Sunday. We will be spending the day at the Blue Hill Fair. This is a place Rosie loved as they have the U.S. Sheepdog Trials, and it is here that we met the humans of  Rosie's sister "Lady". This brought forth a playdate when they were both two years old! Rosie, one year discovered if she burst forward, the sheep would move away from her. All learned on the sidelines of course, but wasn't she so proud of herself!

This Sunday, we will remember our bright little Rowena. We now know how exceptionally smart she was, and how working with her was a dream. She could be obstinate, but generally was very willing to do whatever you asked of her. She brought me out of a dark place, and was the very best friend I ever had. She was my miracle and my prayers answered. 

I lost my model would I would photograph during outings, and walks just aren't the same anymore. I used to walk everywhere, but now I just don't care.

She was with me 24/7 and we were very often side by side. Now she has gone to the rainbow bridge. I hope to God that there is a heaven and that I will indeed be reunited with her as soon as I die. This will make this pain worth it (just a little).

Final Goodbyes

 

Yesterday was a very sad day, but not one that we were not expecting to come soon. Rowena's doctor told us Rowena has Stage four Kidney failure, and has "days or weeks rather than months" left. She had been going down hill for quite a time, and her quality of life is not very noticeable right now. Deaf, blind, hind end weakened, We made the decision.

Jayden's Rowena, CGC, PSD Born September 3, 2004 in Orland, Maine will be on her way to the Rainbow bridge. She will be released of her painful, failing physical body and be released  to Heavenly Father. This event is due to take place on Monday, May 3, 2021 in Bangor, Maine. I am losing my baby. I am losing the best gift ever given to me, my Heaven sent Rosie girl will not be coming home with us on this one final roadtrip and I am absolutely heartbroken.

I will just leave this post here like this. Maybe I will post more afterwards. I don't really know right now.

An Introduction to Rowena's Retirement and Geriatric Life

 It has been so long since I have posted here due to issues with accessibility to internet and wifi. So much has gone on and so much is changing. Hopefully with this little computer I can post more often if necessary until my days of using a service dog are fully gone and behind me. That may be sooner than later.

My Service dog Rowena is now Sixteen years and three months old. She stopped working at age fourteen. Her hind legs were not able to do stairs anymore, so we took one last hike that fall and merged her out of working public. At sixteen, Rowena is now mostly blind, mostly deaf, very unstable, but still wanting to be the center of everything unless she is sleeping on her Serta orthopaedic dog bed. We have a new Border Collie named Rhydian who flunked out being a service dog right off the bat. More about  her later. Rowena doesn't play much at all, but outside once in a while she will go hopping off after the ball or Rhydian. Keeping Rowena clean is hard because she is becoming incontinent. She has a touch of doggy dementia that she takes meds for and someone sleeps downstairs with her everynight to make sure she can get outside, stays out of trouble, and that messes are cleaned up. She used to sleep with us (my husband and myself) on the bed, then when climbing up and down off of that got too much, she retired to dog beds on the floor next to the bed. Now that we have moved, the bedroom is tiny, and up a flight of stairs. When she begins pacing or whatever, there is no room for her. She is definitely a geriatric dog in every sense of the word. We are watching her closely for "that time", and I dread it with all my heart. I have become her helper.

I suspect everyone has their opinions on when a service dog should be required to retire, and when a dog should be put down, but Rowena and I are on our own journey. We are doing what seems to work for us right now. By sharing anything in this blog, I open myself up to the angry bitter world that has become the online service dog handler community, specifically the owner-trainer world. There are a few empathetic service dog using souls out there, but generally, support groups have become a cluster f88ck. I know a few handlers Facebook that I chat with and maybe occasionally share photos with, but for the most part I don't share much of anything. I don't have any friends off line that use a service dog, so my support system is nil.

Until I get a new card reader, the only photos I can share are ones from Google that I have taken. I have found a few photos from this summer, which because of Covid-19 was pretty boring and low lying. Rowena turned Sixteen on September 3rd, 2020. Here is a photo of my aging girl on a roadtrip, and one of me on my fiftieth birthday with her at my feet as it should always be... just her and me.